My heart broke when an author friend recently posted a raw question on social media. To paraphrase: “Do prayers still work when you say, ‘you don’t seem to give a %&#* about me, but I’ll ask for [intervention] for [someone else]’?”
For context, this young mother of four had become essentially wheelchair-bound and bedridden from COVID more than two years prior.
Swap COVID for Lyme disease, and that was me about ten years ago.
I admire my friend’s heart and courage in praying for others. But I grieve that she feels unworthy of petitioning God on her own behalf or thinks it’s useless to try. That’s fallout from “I didn’t sign up for this life.”
I get it.
My friend’s heart cry is a plea. “Am I still worth anything to anyone?” “Does anyone care?” Underneath its surface is a deep yearning to contribute and be in community with others … when one is most isolated.
Friends and family often turn away from such deep distress because reality doesn’t align with their instincts, which say everything should be fixable.
I say a hurt this deep has lessons for all of us—regardless of circumstances.
To that end, I want to share a few heart lessons God continues to teach me. I hope they encourage you through whatever pain, illness, or loss you may have—or may walk through with a loved one.
Feeling worthless and useless is exactly where the enemy wants your mind to stay.
He wants you to focus on what you aren’t, as opposed to what you are. That tactic distances you from God.
God wants you to fulfill your calling: to be His child.
That’s everyone’s primary calling. Regardless.
You don’t have to “do” for God to be pleased with you.
Jesus hadn’t healed anyone, performed a miracle, or taught a sermon when God said, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17). God says the same about you—even if the sole thing you do in this life is be His child.
You are not “less” in God’s eyes when you do less.
God’s favor doesn’t depend on how able or “put together” you are. You are His beloved. He will never cast you aside. Through no effort on your part, God works in, with, and through your humanity.
Great suffering often produces the greatest spiritual growth in our lives.
Ouch. Who looks forward to pain? But it’s true: suffering is often the catalyst for spiritual transformation.
God uses men and women who are forced to their knees.
God does His greatest work when we’re on our knees. I’m not glad I got Lyme disease, but it forced me to get real and go deeper with God than I’d ever imagined possible.
The world needs more people forced to their knees.
We all need to realize how desperately we need God. A life-threatening illness or imprisonment in a hostile country is not a prerequisite for that, but sometimes God works that way.
Perfect prayers are not part of a Christian’s job description.
The Holy Spirit helps us learn how to pray and transforms our imperfect prayers as He intercedes before God on our behalf (Romans 8:26-27). How amazing is that?
God loves us too much to give us lesser things than His best.
In His wisdom, sometimes His best come through hardship. God uses even the things He hates to accomplish what He loves.
Crying out to the Lord unleashes His power and blessings.
I don’t know how this works. I only I know it’s true. It doesn’t mean louder prayers get higher-priority attention. Ugly-crying prayers don’t guarantee physical healing. Yet somehow God gathers every tear and every unvarnished prayer of grief, disappointment, pain, or distress—and seeds it in the garden of His grace to transform your life in unexpected ways.
So keep praying—for others, for yourself. Claim these verses from Psalm 34, then ask God to show you how to walk them out:
4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame. (vs 4-5)
17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (vs 17-18)
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BONUS:
Laura Story’s powerful song “Blessings” beautifully frames “why suffering.”
Her Grammy award-winning song and her book, When God Doesn’t Fix It, were borne out of her husband’s health struggle with an incurable brain tumor.
Listen to Laura’s powerful two-minute message about “plans” and “detours” here.
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I love this, Lana. Sometimes the Christian walk is just a slog through the muck and mire. None of us wants to hear that, but it’s true. A friend of mine who owned a coffee-roasting business once said that the Christian life is similar to the process of roasting coffee beans. We are roasted in the fire, then ground to powder. My addition to that thought is that then we have boiling water poured over us – but the end result is something with a lovely fragrance and pleasing taste. Of course, the analogy breaks down for those who aren’t coffee lovers. But the point is that all of that pain and difficulty have a point. Romans 8:29 “…that we might be conformed to the image of his son.”
Great analogy, Mary! Amen to all you said. Many blessings to you today.